done with persuasion and onward to keen partners from the onset

https://youtu.be/bcNr9SXdsMQ?si=ERFPKArXgm-VNUyb

This video challenges the common notion of love as overcoming obstacles and highlights the mistake many people make in dating: pursuing those who are emotionally unavailable or unenthusiastic (0:44-1:07).

The video argues that our cultural narratives and personal histories often lead us to believe that love requires persuasion, begging, or chasing (0:32-0:39). It suggests that childhood experiences with unreliable parental figures can further reinforce this idea that love is about unfulfillment, frustration, and feeling unworthy (1:47-2:47).

The key takeaway is that we should only pursue relationships with individuals who demonstrate genuine enthusiasm and commitment from the outset (0:08-0:16, 3:45-3:54). The video emphasizes the importance of recognizing and focusing on those who are "keen, open, and ready" (0:26-0:29), and to quickly dismiss those who are evasive, defensive, or unreliable (4:37-4:40, 4:55-4:57). Ultimately, it advocates for a more mature approach to dating that saves us from needless heartache and allows us to focus on the actual challenges of a relationship with a willing partner (5:17-5:22).

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Shyness

 How to defeat shyness:  First, Why is it important to overcome my shyness?   I need to face the reality that unless I overcome shyness, I will die alone.  I will need to realize the greater fear of dying alone is greater.  .....CBT hasn't helped.  ... I will have a first session with a dating coach this Friday.  She mentioned using exposure strategies as a way to work through my fears and shyness.  ... I have read a lot of books and workbooks but I think this didn't help because I failed to properly implement them.  Insight from doing DBT workbook:  the more I avoid, the more likely I will avoid next time. 
Read more

Comparison of ACA 12 Steps vs. DBT Skills: Strengths and Weaknesses

Both **Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) 12 Steps** and **Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills** offer structured approaches for emotional healing and personal growth. However, they differ in philosophy, application, and structure.   --- ### **ACA 12 Steps (Adult Children of Alcoholics)** **Strengths:**   1. **Addresses Deep-Rooted Childhood Trauma** – The ACA 12 Steps specifically help those who grew up in dysfunctional families, focusing on healing childhood wounds.   2. **Spiritual Foundation** – Encourages reliance on a Higher Power, which can be comforting for those who value faith-based recovery.   3. **Structured Step Work** – Provides a clear step-by-step process to work through past emotional wounds and dysfunctional behaviors.   4. **Community Support** – Offers meetings and sponsors for guidance, making it a highly supportive peer-driven model.   5. **Focus on Emotional Sobriety** – Encourages emotional stability and healthy relationships, ...
Read more

Being single on purpose. By John Kim

Concepts: Wanting something too badly without knowing for sure is scary to the other person.  Single on Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First. by John Kim. --- Introduction John Kim introduces his philosophy of living “single on purpose.” He discusses the importance of discovering your authentic self, building a fulfilling life independently, and breaking free from the societal pressure to always be in a relationship. The goal is to become whole on your own before seeking love. --- Chapter 1: Why You Should Be Single on Purpose This chapter emphasizes why being single can be a powerful period for self-growth. Kim challenges the societal norms around relationships and encourages readers to reframe singlehood as an opportunity for self-discovery and personal development. --- Chapter 2: What Does Being Single on Purpose Look Like? Kim explores what it means to be single intentionally rather than passively. He highlights the importance of embracing solitude, fostering new i...
Read more